Posts tagged ‘girls’

The Problem With Girls…

Ok, Please do not pelt rocks at me. Let me start off by saying that I love women. Whether they be big (hey, i dedicated a whole post to this here ) or tiny, blond, brunette, white, black, caramel of yellow- I love them all! I don’t discriminate, ok? But there are some things that I cannot live with! These things drive me nuts and turn me way off! I have an extreme problem with girls who:

1. Have hair on places besides their head- Ok, that’s a little too exaggerated, some hair in the lower region is acceptable, but c’mon!Let’s keep our bushes tidy! What drives me crazy though are hairy legs and God forbid this… Hairy armpits! That’s just freaking wrong man! I don’t wanna feel like I’m dating a hairy guy. Let me have the hair in the weird places, ok, and you stay the nice and smooth one!
julia_roberts_hairy_armpit.jpg

2. I hate it when some girls don’t have an opinion– “Honey, what’ do you think of a vacation somewhere in Vietnam?” “Sure, honey”, “What about a vacation at that beer place down the road?” “Sure honey, anything you say!”. Please woman, have an opinion! I will admit that I am stupid and I cannot read your mind.

3. Don’t act dumb!– One of the reasons I decided to date you was because I found your intelligence attractive! Please don’t suddenly act helpless, or you suddenly don’t know how to do things you used to be good at. It won’t make me feel macho, it will just make me think you or I have multiple personality disorder!

4. Another pet peeve is when girls have personal hygiene issues- Girls, you’re girls! I know this is stereotypical but you’re the ones who are supposed to smell clean and fresh and nice all the time! The whole universe would lose all its sense of order if you didn’t! Please do not skip the necessary shower and perfume spritz in the interest of say, saving time! I’m telling you now: It’s not worth it!!! Other guys might kill me for saying this, but I don’t mind the extra wait as long as when my girl comes out, she looks, smells and feels like a girl!

5. Lastly- Girls, why do you say nothing when I ask you what’s wrong and clearly something is? Why say no when you mean yes? And why say”I guess its ok” when you mean no? I’m a guy, I’m dumb and I will take what you say. I won’t be able to pick up if that no is really a yes until a girl decoder is invented! (What’s taking you so long, Steve Jobs? Bill Gates?)

Let me just end this by saying that again, I love girls! And these pet peeves aren’t ridiculous right? They still fall under the sphere of normal?! Guys, do I have a point? And girls, what are your guy pet peeves?

March 31, 2008 at 11:13 pm 6 comments

5 Reasons Why You Should Date a Fat..Err..Voluptuous Girl NOW!

Bored and somewhat in denial of the long lists of tasks that I had to accomplish yesterday, I slipped into my age-old habit of seeing what was out there on cyberspace. Interestingly enough, I came across this blog post – a discussion of sorts as to why geeks make good lovers.It seems that girls are always hesitant on the geeks, no? This launched my own thoughts on what kind of girls we guys are always hesitant on. And then it hit me- Fat chicks..Uhhh..I think the more politically correct term would be Vertically challenged OR healthy. Anyway, as an answer of sorts, I’ve compiled my own reasons on why Healthy Chicks make better lovers! In no particular order, they are:

1. Big girls are nicer to hug and cuddle with. A girl of skin and bones proportion would be nothing but hard edges and planes. Ouch! That’s sure to give you a bruising, especially with all the activities you’ll be doing in bed! Compare that to a voluptuous girl, and its like comparing a rock to a pillow! No contest!

2. You can engage in weight-shedding activities TOGETHER. The work is all finished for a thin girl, she has no more “body” goals to aspire for. With a heavy honey, its different, especially if you’re on a personal quest for a better bod too! You can enroll in a gym together, or take up a new sport, maybe go for a walk, a run, a hike. It doesn’t matter! This personal experience will assure that you get to spend lots of time together and grow closer in the process!

3. A fat girl will always want to go on exotic vacations! You don’t get this one? Well, a big girl might be conscious to strut her stuff around people that might whisper and gossip about her. Because of this, she’ll always want to go on secluded little places like this and this where people don’t know her, or care ! There, she can show you the fruits of her laborious gym workouts in the shape of a sexy bikini!

4. You won’t have to go into weird restaurants to eat! Do you notice than skinny gals are always up to try that new vegan bar or that south beach café by the corner?! It can drive you nuts! Eliminate this problem when you date healthy! From eat-all-you-can buffets to KFC, the world is yours on a platter! Literally! Bring on them chicken wings!!

5. You won’t have sleepless nights of insecurity and jealousy! Picture this, you’re in a club with your thin girlfriend. What happens next? Some douchebag ultimately tries to hit on her! Not good! Especially if the douchebag has that Brad Pitt appeal that so many girls seem to find irresistible! Non-converts unlike you will always go for the skinny girl to hit on! If you date a voluptuous beauty, chances are, no one will go up to her, and you can count on an uninterrupted night of dancing!Have I converted you yet? I’ll put it simply- FAT GIRLS ROCK! And they’re only good until supply lasts, so you better snag yours today :p

March 13, 2008 at 3:04 am 22 comments


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