Funny Sex Quotes!( Woody Allen, YOU are GOD!)

March 17, 2008 at 4:16 am 3 comments

It seems that my last post got a little reaction. A few of them maybe southbound, and I sincerely apologize if I offended anybody. Most of the reactions thankfully were more positive. I’m glad there are seemingly a lot of people out there who share my sense of humor.

I stumbled on these quotes on dating and sex, well ok, mostly sex, that had me laughing my butt off . Billie Crysta, Woody Allen and all the rest of you- You are my new idols! These are gold! LOL.

Hopefully, may all of you enjoy this little compilation too, AND feel free to add and share your personal favorites!!!

“Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get, or how long it will last!”

– anonymous

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place”- Billie Crystal

“Don’t knock the masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love!”- Woody Allen

“Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you’re not getting any”- Unknown

“A terrible thing happened to me last night again. Nothing”- Phylis Diller

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on!”- Marilyn Monroe

“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them!”- Steve Martin

And since it is technically Holy Monday, it’s nice to get a quote from someone who’s close to the big guy above!

“Oh Lord, Give me Chastity.But do not give it yet!” – St. Augustine

Here’s some funny Russel Peters Sex Stand-up for you:

Happy Monday everyone! Peace!:)

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5 Reasons Why You Should Date a Fat..Err..Voluptuous Girl NOW! Uhhh…I Wouldn’t Eat There If I Were You

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jack  |  April 23, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Dude, this is not funny. Between watching the lifetime movie that my girlfriend has running on my T.V. and this video. I choose……………… the Smith & Wesson under my bed!

    Reply
  • 2. Steph  |  May 6, 2008 at 1:52 am

    Dont feel bad… i thought it was a bit funny

    Reply
  • 3. Wrestler189  |  May 6, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    i want sex with a hot girl.

    Reply

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